Prison Rules

****NOTICE: THERE WILL BE PICTURES (AND TEXT) IN THIS UPDATE THAT WILL SCAR YOU FOR LIFE. TURN BACK NOW IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH.****

As a related note, I apparently decided walls were overrated during this post. Deal with it or go build your own BTMCBF and keep the walls up.

 I've noticed a tendency for other simmers to write Branch as gay in their legacies and stories, but he generally tends to hook up with women in my various saves. If you go by stereotypes, I can see why so many assumptions are made about his preference. Frankly, I don't give a shit what he prefers.

He's living by prison rules. (When you only have one option, your preference doesn't matter.)

Because I have no desire to run out of Branch clones in the near future, Branch needs to breed. In order to set the mood and increase your enjoyment of this tender tale, open this in another window. Enjoy...

 Branch continued to woo Branch in the yard while their comrade was slowly starving to death in The Room of Abundance. Nothing brings out those romantic feelings like the strains of your own voice begging for a mere bite of burnt waffles.

After many hours of this flabtastic courtship, the ominous sound of Grim's arrival drove the boys inside.

In mere moments, their passions overtook them and the clothes went flying.

     "Oh, Branch! I know we're doomed to die in this facility," Branch sputtered through his tears.
    "I know, Branch. I'm afraid, too. But I know something that can take the pain away."
    "What's that?"
    "Come closer and let me show you."
Branch enveloped Branch in a large, sweaty hug. He aligned their hirsute nipples and began to gyrate, soothing and quieting Branch's tears.

As his lover calmed, he gently drew Branch to the bed, ignoring the screams of mercy from the springs as they curled around each other. The need to be even closer grew ever stronger, and things soon escalated.

 My body is ready...

(I'm so sorry for this picture. You should be thankful I'm not posting the Branch orgy.)

The moist sounds of slapping thighs and stifled groans could be heard throughout the facility, and it seemed to spur the same longing for closeness in the other Branches.

 I found that the other Branches had taken to sharing beds. Most of them don't even have a relationship with each other, but they all seemed content to double up. In case you're thinking this is an isolated incident --

It wasn't. With these new developments, it may not be long before we have all sorts of Branch on Branch action. I hope you have a strong stomach.

Outside of the romance and a second death, life carried on as normal in the facility. The conditions of the common areas continue to decline.

Literally every surface is now covered with rotting dishes, and they've started piling their plates on the floor. I've occasionally moved things to encourage them to cook (and hopefully set themselves on fire, but I haven't had any luck. They manage to burn everything, and they leave the rotting leftovers on the floor. The other Branches will happily eat the remains, no matter how long they've been sitting there. I was actually so disgusted by their behaviors that I was forced to go clean my own kitchen.

While I continue to refuse to call a maid, I have been good enough to allow them to call a repairman on several occasions. In spite of their refusal to adopt any sort of regular bathing routines, they managed to break nearly all the showers at once.

 I'm shocked that the poor repair sim can get through the door without fainting from the stench, but he performed like a real trooper.

The grime is also thick enough to render the glass opaque.

 Speaking of grime, the toilets are beyond disgusting. Again, as often as they piss on the floor, I can't fathom how they manage to get these things so dirty.


I also discovered that if your lot is inhabited by a bunch of pigs, even the newspaper boy will be a dick about it:

Listen, kid, I don't need your attitude. You would do well to remember that you're not immune to meteors.

Perhaps more amazing than the filth, some of the the Branches have undergone quite a transformation.

 Is he actually getting thin? What the hell? You'll be pleased to know that his head remains the shape of a potato no matter how much weight he loses.


Well, it seems we're just about done here, but what's that?

Anal pregnancy status: mission complete