Gnome Builders Inc.: Pool's Closed

Like all posts on this blog, you should not view this if you have an aversion to death, nudity, profanity, filth, or comically-sized penises. Take the content warning on the front page seriously!

Fall has finally arrived at the BMCBF. This beautiful season is accompanied by the changing trees, the arrival of the fall festival, the increasing stench of Branch's kitchen, and the need to make some changes to the exterior area of the lot.

Pool's closed, Branch

I tried to add a fence to keep the hapless idiots out of the freezing water, but apparently these two didn't get the memo before the fence was erected. Sorry, the BMCBF planning committee said the pool would be closed at 12pm on Monday, and we will not change our plans.

Initially, Branch appeared unperturbed by his new predicament. Dumbass, you're in the ultimate breath holding contest. Do you really think it's wise to be using up your energy like this?

Don't say I didn't try to warn you. As Branch started to flail his jiggly arms in pathetic desperation, Branch stood by whining about how tired he was. Don't bother to help your friend, asshole.

This is starting to remind me of the end scenes of Open Water. I can't wait until we have sharks...

And then there was one. That's right, Branch, there's a big damn fence in your way. You should have heeded the memos.

Your panic delights me.

Bye, Branch.

With all the new pregnancies, I'm lucky that I managed to get a twofer. We need to make room in the facility for all of the new Branches...and a new arrival who should be showing up any time now.

While I was reveling in my evil delight, I started to wonder where Grim was. Not that I would mind having two bodies at the bottom of the pool forever, but he's generally much quicker.

Oh...you're going to have your death scene under the foundation, fantastic. I initially assumed that was one of the newly departed Branches, but it is one of the previous kills showing up to watch.

It seems I missed the first raising entirely while I was searching for Grim, but I managed to see the second soggy Branch go.

Collecting a double load of Branch seemed to push Grim over the edge. He had to stay around to meow at the remains a bit.

Turns out if you slaughter sims on your lot on Spooky day, a Cacklin Nackerbell will show up. I'm inclined to think that two Branches for a gnome is the best trade ever.

It looks like the hall of remembrance is going to need an expansion if I keep losing so many Branches.

Elsewhere in the facility, life continues as normal.

Branch continues to refuse to consistently use one of the 24 toilets or beds. I'm starting to think that he is more in need of potty training than the toddler.

An unfathomable dispute about bugs has caused a gaping rift between the living and the dead Branches. Perhaps they were disputing what type of roach is crawling across the counter.

I think Branch is starting to see the error of his ways. It seems as though he now hates himself as much as I do.

Growing tired of the constantly screaming, filthy toddler, I decided a birthday was long overdue. Of note, this is the thinnest Branch will ever be.

Considering his surroundings, it is really no surprise that Branch developed the evil trait. He must be taking after his sim god.

After being ignored by his parents and all of the other living Branches, baby Branch decided to side with the ghosts on the roach issue.

I've also discovered penis sliders. Best. CC. Ever. While I would assume that Branch is actually in possession of a micro penis, I decided that I should "gift" him to make up for all of the tragedy he has been forced to endure.