Diabeetus

After releasing Branch into the facility, he quickly got comfortable with his new surroundings. In spite of his "loves the outdoors" trait, I was surprised to find quite a few Branches in the pool. I assumed he would be allergic to exercise. 

Because Branch is a giant troll, he nearly killed some of his copies by refusing to get out of the way while they were drowning. I was cackling with fiendish delight at the thought that he would kill himself, but he managed to escape safely.

If you thought I was shocked to see Branch swimming, you'll never imagine my confusion when I found Branch autonomously working out in front of the TV. I didn't see that one coming. 

I hope you're enjoying those sweaty ham hocks as much as I did.

Before long, it was time for Branch to hit the feeding trough. Much to my dismay, he opted for the safer Autumn salad over something that he would have to cook. This bastard continues to evade my attempts to have him die by his own hand.


The sound of 16 Branches slurping and gagging on their meals was enough to put me off food for life. Of course, Branch managed to make it worse by reminding me that he's a slob. ****Naked, jiggly fairy alert*******


















The Branches who weren't around for the initial feeding frenzy decided to clean up by licking the discarded plates. This is probably the only way these dishes will ever get washed, so I let him go for it.

Why is he naked? I have no fucking idea.


After a good night's sleep, I decided it was time to get down to business. Branch #1 was selected for the first experiment: The Jellybean Bush aka Diabeetus will kill your ass.

My sims seem to have terrible luck with this silly little bush. I've only had one sim eat more than 5 beans before keeling over, and I think that was only because he was lucky.

Branch, on the other hand, continued to defy my wishes for death. I forced him to eat the first bean at 10am, and we continued for many uneventful hours. After a dozen beans, he blue himself. Apparently he's not very skilled because he immediately started crying. 



A few beans later and he was so scared that he had to pass out, delaying the experiment. Oh, how I longed for a cow prod.

Get up, you hamplanet! We have more beans to eat!

After reviving him with a swift kick to the skull, he continued to eat the beans. He then found a shit flavored bean and again had to interrupt the experiment.

Are you going to quit, you worthless sack of crap? Get back in there and eat those beans!  He did get a short-lived boon in the form of a bean that made him happy. You can rest assured that I clicked that moodlet away fairly quickly. No happiness in the facility.

Somewhere around two in the morning, he was joined by another Branch who started autonomously eating beans. I was hopeful that I would be doubling my chances of getting my kill. This fucker seems to be invincible!

Suddenly...Branch dropped to the ground and started moaning. 

"Haaaaalp! The Diabeetus is going to take me!"

And then there were 15.

I wasn't really sure whether they were gathering to mourn their fallen comrade or to eat him. They've been surviving on salad, and I imagine a jellybean stuffed fairy is looking pretty good by now. 

Perhaps they feared that the diabeetus would come for them, too, and their hesitation resulted in Grim showing up with his forklift before they could reach a decision.

Jellybean ghosts are really the best.

There is no escape from the BTMCBF, not even in death.